


I am the Fulcrum

by jairyn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anisoka, Brotp, F/M, Fulcrum, Snips - Freeform, Star Wars - Freeform, Time Travel, otp, skyguy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-11 01:25:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15304362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jairyn/pseuds/jairyn
Summary: Ahsoka gets offered a chance to complete a trial that could allow her to become a Jedi Knight, something that had once been her greatest ambition. But the Jedi order had been extinct for several years. To complete the trial, she is sent back in time to do something. Now she has to figure out how to pass this trial or what she's supposed to change. Ultimately it will test her faith in everything and make her question what she really knows about what brought everything she'd ever known crashing down. With the help of the younger version of her master, will she rewrite history? (Idea inspired by my friend rosaapaints)





	1. Chapter 1

_I am Fulcrum. I am part of the rebellion. I’m trying to destroy the very thing I helped build. Of course, I didn’t know I was helping build it. If Anakin were here, would he be proud of me? Would he be fighting by my side like I once fought by his?_

She ran her fingers across the curved hilt of one of her new lightsabers. They were foreign to her, yet familiar. They were thinner than her old ones but they felt like they belonged in her hands and when lit, they were the brightest white she’d ever seen. She didn’t know lightsabers could be white. She tried searching her memory for any mention of white lightsabers throughout the history of the Jedi, but she came up empty. What did it mean? She wasn’t special, not like Anakin had been. He was the Chosen One. If anyone should have carried a white lightsaber, it was him. Instead, she carried not one, but two. She wasn’t a Jedi anymore. She wasn’t a Sith either. Yet the force had brought her back to something bigger. It was preparing her for something. 

“Ahsoka?” She looked up to see Bail looking at her with concern. “Are you alright?”

“Sorry,” she replied. “It’s been awhile.” 

“Are you sure you want to do this? We could use the help, but if you’re not up for it…”

“No, I am.” She gave him a reassuring smile.  _I just have to get my head back in the game._ Everything that had happened on Raada was still fresh on her mind. But she’d been stupid, and reckless.  _I thought I’d gotten past that._  She felt a tug in the force; A pull in a direction she didn’t want to go. She tried to push it away, but it only buzzed harder. “There’s something I need to do first.” 

“How can I help?” Bail asked.

“Can you take me back to the Jedi temple on Coruscant?” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. Why did she want to go there? What was she hoping to find? Even if there were other Jedi still out there, even if the purge had never happened, she didn’t belong there anymore. Did she honestly think she’d find Anakin?  _He’s dead. Let it go._

“The temple is nothing but rubble now, I’m afraid,” Bail was saying. “I’m not sure if there’s anything there to find.” 

_Except ghosts._  “I feel like there’s something there I need to do.” She admitted. “It might help the rebellion.” 

“Well, I can get you close. Only a couple people have codes to get through the security checkpoints. There’s a few guards around the complex, which probably won’t be a problem for you, but the place is crawling with probe droids and scavengers. The Emperor has been pretty keen on discovering all its secrets.”

She felt sick. The idea of all those grubby hands on a place so sacred. No matter where the force led her now, she still held the ideals of the Jedi. Some part of her that she’d been trying to bury, still wanted to be one. It was impossible though. She’d made the decision to leave and there was nothing to go back to anyways.  _So why is it telling me I should?_ “If you could drop me down on level 1313, I can get there on foot. That would probably be safer for you too.”  

“Level 1313? That’s a seedy part of town. Are you sure?”

She smiled again. “Yeah, I’m sure. I can take care of myself, besides, I have an old friend there if I need it.” She hoped he was still there. Although she didn’t tell Bail that she had no intention of going to him even if she got into trouble. Nyx might never have known she’d once been a Jedi, but she wanted to avoid interactions with anyone. Mainly she wanted to avoid awkward questions. 

—

Ahsoka threw up her hood. At least in the lower levels of Coruscant people had enough of their own problems to notice her. She’d tried to talk herself out of this all the way back, but the closer she got, the stronger her feeling that she needed to go there. 

She looked up past the flashing lights, busy traffic and towering buildings to the empty skyline where the five peaks of the temple had once been visible. She shivered and pulled her coat even tighter. She’d once walked those hallways looking out at the bustling city, feeling safe… untouchable. Even before the building itself had come crashing down, her world had. She couldn’t even remember the last time she felt safe. 

She slipped into the shadows, disguising her force signature, stepping forward large distances at a time. Keeping her head down she’d duck into an occasional alleyway as probes or police went by. As she joined the larger crowds, she sidled up the side of some apartments, preferring the clearer path across the rooftops. 

At the edge of the skyscrapers the city opened into a flatter area with shorter buildings. Ships of all shapes and sizes weaved back and forth through the sky in a chess board pattern. The wind tugged at her hood and she pulled it back around her face without thinking. Her heart raced as she scanned the horizon. Coruscant felt empty to her now. Memories washed over her. She wished she could forget. In all her lazy daydreams as a youngling, she never could have imagined this. Life had seemed so simple; so easy back then. Even once she’d started as a padawan. She’d given Anakin a hard time for all the trouble they ended up in, but she would give anything to have those days back; to have him back. She’d even be happy to hear Master Kenobi prattle on about protocols and procedure. Or Master Yoda and his backwards way of talking, or Master Windu and his frowning look of disdain. The truth was… she missed them all. They hadn’t trusted her; they’d thrown her out like the trash. But none of that really mattered anymore. If they appeared in front of her, she’d forgive them in an instant. 

_Stop it._  She chided herself.  _You’re only making it harder. Focus._  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She breathed easier as the force flooded in stronger every time she inhaled. She focused on clearing her mind and pushing the pain aside for now. She opened her eyes and looked towards the ruins, only vaguely acknowledging the pang that hit her. A path towards her destination illuminated in the force. She nodded to herself, glanced around to see if the coast was clear and let the it guide her the rest of the way to the temple. 

—

It had been easy to slip past the guards, they’d been deep in their own conversation. Clearly, they were convinced no one would be fool enough to enter. Apparently, she was. She kept her senses wide open. She couldn’t feel droids in the force, but if she was paying attention, she could hear them in enough time to hide. 

Now that she was in, she had no idea what she was looking for. Bail had been right, there wasn’t much left. What had she expected? That it would be sitting there in the middle with a sign? 

Sighing deeply, she watched the patrol pattern of the droids and troopers for a while and found a corner they didn’t seem to go by very often. Hidden between two fallen columns, she knelt and started meditating. The pain of all that had occurred here was distracting. Yet, she found herself searching through it, looking for him. If Anakin had died here, like so many others, she knew she’d find the memory in there somewhere. She hated herself for wanting to feel it, for wanting to know. But every time she’d reached into the force for him, it had felt like a broken conduit. Like the pathway had simply been cut. It didn’t feel like death to her, it just felt empty. It was as if he’d simply gone missing and if he was just missing… she had to find him. Even if finding him meant witnessing his death. She had to know the truth. 

“Attachment is forbidden for Jedi.” Her eyes snapped open at the voice but there was no one there. She waited for a few minutes but it didn’t speak again. She shrugged and went back to meditating.  _My mind is playing tricks on me._

She fell deeper and deeper into her search, throwing caution to the wind as she searched for him. She felt anger; familiar anger. She turned her search towards it feeling as though she was getting close to the truth. “Why are you here?” This time when her eyes snapped open, a temple guardian stood in front of her. 

“I don’t know,” she admitted. 

“I think you do.” It replied from behind the white faceless mask. It’s brown ceremonial robes blowing slightly in the breeze. The double-bladed lightsaber hilt, hanging from its belt. 

“I miss him.” She said, emotions she’d been trying to repress tumbling out her eyes before she could stop them. “I miss all of them.”

“Attachments is forbidden for Jedi.” It repeated the first thing she’d heard.

“I know.” She said, leaning forward to rest on the palms of her hands so the temple guardian couldn’t see her face that was streaked with tears. They fell on the stone below her now. 

“He cannot come back from where he’s gone.” She squeezed her eyes shut at his words. “But if you still wish to become a Jedi, I can help you.” Wiping her eyes, she looked up at the masked face of the specter before her.

“The Jedi are all gone. How can I become one?”

“If you pass the trial I put before you, I can grant you the rank of knight.”  _How will that help with the rebellion?_  What could becoming a knight at this point do that she couldn’t already?  _It would be an empty title for an empty soul._  But the force had led her here, whatever this trial was… it might give her the knowledge that she sought. 

“I’m ready,” she said.

—

When she opened her eyes, she was no longer sitting in the middle of rubble. She looked around her at the lush green landscape and rolling hills. Laid out before her was a lake shimmering in the early morning light. Trees dotted the landscape and sitting just ahead of her was a huge stone castle with a pastel pink paint peeking through the climbing vines up to the dome roofs. A figure stood on the balcony that opened out over the water. She could just make them out between the arched stone columns and planters that lined the railing. 

The temple guardian had told her she was going back in time to change something. Her trial was to figure out what it was. Succeed, and she’d be brought back to her time and knighted as a Jedi. It hadn’t told her where she was going or how far back. It also hadn’t told her what would happen if she failed. She’d probably be stuck here in this time; whenever it was…

She climbed the stone wall at the far end of the balcony, trying to be as quiet as possible. But when she peeked over the railing, she almost lost her grip. Her heart pounded in her chest as she dangled from the side of the balcony. She swung around to look between the balusters at the figure silhouetted against the cloudy sunrise. He had his back to her. His loose tunic fluttered in the breeze. The thin material barely masking his well-defined musculature.

She vaulted herself over the railing landing lightly on the stone floor. She stood there staring at his back longingly; a lump in her throat. Every muscle in her body screamed at her to run to him. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms, she’d missed him so much. But this Anakin might not know she existed yet, she had to be cautious. She could just make out his padawan braid where it fell on his right shoulder. 

He started turning in her direction and she scrambled to hide but ran into the wall. “Hey!” he yelled.

_Kriff!_  She started running down the back steps, rubbing her forehead trying to ignore the pain of where it had hit the stone. 

“Stop! Who are you?” he demanded as he chased after her. She didn’t know where she was going so she just kept running, taking random turns that seemed like the right direction trying to lose him in the maze of the castle pathways. After running for a few minutes, she risked a glance backwards but didn’t see him behind her anymore. She slowed to a walk trying to catch her breath and kept looking over her shoulder. 

Something reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her into a little alcove behind a statue along the passageway. She yelped and then fell silent as she looked up into his intense blue eyes. Her knees wobbled a little as she tried to memorize his face. He couldn’t be much younger than when she met him, so she’d only gone back in time a few years. Before the Clone Wars, most likely. He was gripping each of her arms tightly and staring into her soul. She realized at some point that he didn’t have his mechanical arm yet. He’d lost his in the Battle of Geonosis, hadn’t he? So it had to be before that.

“How did you find this place?” he asked angrily. “Who sent you?”

“Um…” she was at a loss, she didn’t know what to say. “I felt like I should come here…” she stammered. “I think I’m supposed to help you.” It was weak, she bit her lip hoping he’d buy it. 

He glanced down and saw the lightsabers dangling from her belt. “Are you a Jedi?” he asked. She nodded, not trusting herself to lie. His close proximity to her was distracting. He smelled good too. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but she was afraid to. 

“Anakin?” a female voice called. It was familiar too. 

He brought his finger to her lips and then leaned out to reply. “I’ll be right there, senator. Just a moment.”  _Padmé… I should have known._

“Are you alright? I thought I heard you shouting.” Senator Amidala called again.

“It was nothing,” he answered. Her shoulders slumped.  _Yeah… nothing…_  She wanted to look away, but if she moved her face, her lips would brush his finger which was probably not the smartest idea right now. Not that any of this was smart. Apparently satisfied with his response, Padmé didn’t say anything else. But neither did Anakin. She looked up to find him staring at her. She held her breath. “Who are you?” he asked again, softer this time. She peered up at him like a schoolgirl. Why was it so hard to talk to him now?  _Because you thought he was dead. He is dead. You’re in the past remember?_  She tried to ignore the arguing voices in her head. 

“Fulcrum.” She managed finally. 

“You said you were here to help. Help with what?” he asked. 

_Stang…_  she didn’t know. She could feel something through the force. She pushed her senses out trying to read him. “You’re hurting,” she responded instead. “Why?” Now that she’d managed to focus on something other than his intoxicating presence she could feel a deep pain in his soul. Something was bothering him. There was confusion, sorrow… longing… a cavern of aching, oceans wide. She’d felt pain in him like this before, but this was fresh. Boiling just beneath the surface, demanding attention. Not like the deeply buried loss he’d carried with him as her master. 

He released her and stepped away.  _No, come back…_  “It’s nothing.” He looked uncomfortable and avoided her gaze. 

“It might be what I’m supposed to help you with,” she whispered. “Tell me.”

“It was just a dream,” he said. “Forget it.”  _Dreams don’t hurt you like that._  She studied the profile of his face. Was it possible for her to help fix whatever had caused that chasm of pain she’d always felt in him? Could that be what she was meant to change? 

She tentatively reached out and touched him on the arm. “Tell me about your nightmare,” she said soothingly. “Let me help you.” As her master, he’d never let her in; not really anyways. She hoped this was before he’d shut everyone out. She hoped he would tell her. 

“It was about my mother,” he said finally, swallowing hard. “I can feel her, she’s in pain. I have to help her!”  _His mother… right… she’d died somehow._  What was it she’d overheard Master Kenobi and Master Yoda say about it? She racked her brain trying to find the elusive piece of information that might help her stop it from happening. “Are you going to chastise me like the rest of them? Tell me that attachments are forbidden, and I should let her go?” He said suddenly angry, interrupting her thoughts. The temple guardian had also said attachments are forbidden. Had he been referring to her attachment to Anakin? Or had it been a hint to help her with this trial?

“No,” she said, trying to weigh her words. She had to keep reminding herself that right now, he must think she’s a Jedi master. That he’s still a padawan, expecting them to tell him what to do. She wasn’t so sure she liked that he was looking to her for what to do or rather to not do something. “Attachment might be forbidden, but if someone is in danger, it is a Jedi’s responsibility to do what they can to help them.”

He smiled suddenly. “Thank you.” He said, but then frowned again. “But my mandate is to protect the senator. That’s why we’re here. I can’t leave.”

“Between the two of us, I’m sure we can keep her safe if she comes along.” Ahsoka answered.  _But I’d rather she stay here…_

“I’ll go tell her to get ready and we’ll meet you at the ship,” he said starting up the stairs. He paused near the top and turned back to look at her, “I’m glad you’re not like the other masters.” He commented.

_Because of you…_  she almost replied, but instead, she just gave him a smile and he disappeared around the corner. She sighed heavily when he was out of sight. This was going to be a difficult task. Not rescuing his mother, or protecting the senator… but because seeing him like this, younger… and more carefree… still smiling occasionally… it was distracting to say the least. And she was having a really hard time not noticing her body’s response when he was close to her.  _You’re not here to fall in love, you idiot._   _A little late for that, don’t you think?_

—

Ahsoka raced to the shiny, chromium plated Nubian starship sitting on the private landing pad, hoping that it would take the senator her usual amount of time to get ready and she’d have a few minutes to come up with a plan. It had taken longer than she cared to admit to stop thinking about Anakin in that loose tunic and seeing him genuinely smile. He had smiled every once in a while, as her master, but it was usually a smug one or a smirk. She couldn’t think of a single moment he’d been really happy. At least he’d been good at hiding his expression of happiness.

Once her focus was back on the task at hand, she struggled to find any memory of what had happened to his mother. She searched the database in her head and came up empty.  _This would be so much easier if you’d talked to me about your past, Skyguy!_ She kicked the back of the chair. She forced herself to take a deep breath. Before she got very far, a little astromech droid wheeled into the cockpit.

“Artoo!” She greeted the droid excitedly, forgetting for a moment that it didn’t know her yet. It beeped something about her trespassing on royal property.  _Oh right…_  She told it that Senator Amidala had sent her ahead to get the ship ready for their trip. It whistled something that she didn’t quite catch but otherwise went to work starting the engines. “Artoo, I need your help.” The droid spun its dome top so that it’s ocular lens was facing her and she knelt down. “Do you know anything about Anakin Skywalker’s mother?”

R2 whirred for a few minutes and then wheeled over to plug into the computer database for information retrieval. It projected a profile of her in the air before her. Ahsoka scanned it quickly looking for any information that would help her. She was on Tatooine…  _okay…_  she was once a slave…  _yeah…_  a man named Cliegg Lars had purchased her and then freed her. Then why would she be in danger? It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Anakin’s instinct or visions; what was she missing? Could she be in danger from something besides slavery? What was it that Anakin had told her was dangerous on Tatooine on their first real mission together?  _The desert was merciless…_  but why? She stood up quickly.  _Sand people._

If the Tuskens had somehow captured her… she would not survive until they got there. She paced back and forth trying to come up with a plan. She ran to the comm and put in a call to Jabba the Hutt. It wasn’t ideal, but it might work… She didn’t have time to second guess herself though, she could hear Anakin and Padme coming closer. She ducked into the closet near the bridge, forcing herself past the heavy material hanging there so that she’d be well hidden in the depth of the tiny room. Why was she so keen to hide from Padme?  _Because you don’t want to see them together._

“It looks like Artoo already started the ship. Are you ready to go?” Senator Amidala’s voice drifted past where Ahsoka was hiding. 

“Not quite,” Anakin said. “I forgot something.” Ahsoka realized a little too late that he was trying to find her but she was too embarrassed to crawl out of the closet now that Padme was sitting right outside. “I couldn’t find it,” Anakin said returning. Ahsoka felt the ship lift off and shifted to find a more comfortable position to wait out the long trip.

“Ouch,” she said clunking her head on a shelf in the back of the closet and quickly covered her mouth. 

“Did you hear that?” Anakin asked.

“I didn’t hear anything.” Padme replied.

_Stang!_  Artoo beeped something and Ahsoka heard the door to the closet open. She shimmied further back against the wall hoping the heavy dresses and robes would keep her hidden. The material against her face moved, but she didn’t hear Anakin say anything so she hoped he didn’t see her. After a few minutes of rustling, the closet door closed again. She was about to breathe a sigh of relief when she realized that he was sitting on the floor next to her. She froze, panicking.

 “Any particular reason you’re hiding in the closet?” he whispered. Her heart thudded in her chest, she willed it to be quiet.  _Think!_

 “I was inspecting the ship, of course! The senator’s life is in danger, you can’t be too careful.” She tried her best to emphasize that what she was doing was the most obvious course of action, how could he commit such an oversight? 

“You’re right! How silly of me. The ship has been sitting here completely unguarded in the middle of nowhere. I hadn’t even considered that it could be tampered with.” He replied seriously, furrowing his brow. She wasn’t quite sure if he was making fun of her or not. She resisted the urge to punch him in the shoulder. It wasn’t very master-like. 

“If you were trying to take out a target, would you confront them directly when they’re guarded by a Jedi, or would you find another form of subterfuge?” She mimicked his tone of voice when he tried to teach her hard lessons. He was quiet for a moment. 

 “You’re right. I like the way you think, Snips.” He said.

 Her eyes widened as she stared at him in surprise, “What did you call me?”

 “I’m sorry,” he said embarrassed. “That was inappropriate. I’m not sure where that came from.” She reached for him before she could stop. He looked at her nervously awaiting a reprimand. Her hand touched the side of his face and he relaxed into it returning her stare. His eyes flicked to her lips and they leaned closer. “Master,” he breathed, before they kissed. Alarm bells were sounding in her brain.  _Hey… that’s you!_  Her brain was too fuzzy to react though. He tasted so sweet, for a moment, nothing else mattered.

 They kissed again, deeper this time. Reaching depths neither had known. Everything about him filled her heart to bursting, why was he so irresistible?  _You have to stop this_. She ignored the voice in her head and wrapped her arms around his neck pushing him backwards. He responded hungrily, his intensity startling her. She was on top of him as his arms weaved around her back pulling her closer. The ship lurched, shoving their tangled embrace into the wall.

 "Anakin?“ Padmé called from outside the closet door. Her voice brought them both crashing back to reality and they scrambled apart as quietly as they could. Holding their breaths, they waited for her footsteps to recede and then he stumbled clumsily out of the closet, standing up and adjusting his robes. 

 He glanced back at her, but she shook her head, mouthing to him that she would continue inspecting the ship. So, he shut the closet door, leaving her in darkness again. She felt around the back looking for the ventilation shaft and then squeezed her way in. 

 Deep in the bowels of the ship, she finally faced the truth; being close to him was dangerous. And she needed to get her act together. What they’d just done was wrong on every level.  _But it felt so right…_

_Use your brain, girl! Not only is he your future master, you’re not from this time. Do you really think messing up his relationship with Padmé is what you’re meant to do? Well the temple guardian had said attachment is forbidden… so you get him attached to you instead? Brilliant._

Ahsoka sighed _._ She couldn’t ignore the magnetism between them, but she had to resist it. There was a bigger picture she had been conveniently ignoring. But…  _No. Don’t go there_.


	2. Chapter 2

"Excuse me,” Ahsoka said, poking her head into the doorway of the Lars’ compound. She’d managed to survive the two-day trip here without the senator finding out she was on board. She’d found a small room in the aft part of the ship that had a bed and a refresher; probably a servant’s quarters. Whenever she’d been certain Padmé was asleep or in another part of the ship, she’d sneak into the galley through the ventilation ducts and get a snack. Otherwise she stayed out of sight as much as possible. “Sorry to barge in, but I’m a little lost, could you tell me if there’s a city or village in that direction?” She said pointing one of her lightsabers to her left. 

 The Lars family, including Anakin and Padmé, piled out of the doorway to look in the direction she pointed. One of them grabbed monoculars and scanned the horizon. “No city,” the one-legged fellow in the motor chair said, “but maybe a Tusken camp.”

 A girl not much younger than herself gasped, “look at all the smoke!” She said. 

 "From the tracks we found, that’s the direction they went with your mother.“ The older man said, glancing at Anakin. Ahsoka felt him tense up beside her. "But it’s not like the Tuskens to draw so much attention to themselves.”

 "Well, I’m already headed in that direction, young Jedi. If you’d like to come along, perhaps I can help you find who you’re looking for.“

 Anakin gave her a grateful look and then turned to Padmé. “Stay here, senator. These are good people, you’ll be safe.”

 “Be careful,” Padmé replied hugging him, then she gave Ahsoka a critical and distrusting look. Ahsoka bowed slightly and turned towards one of the two speeder bikes parked near the main house. 

 “Do you mind if we borrow these?” She looked back to the man in the motor chair.

 “If there’s a chance you can find my wife, please take them.” He replied. He must be Cliegg Lars. She nodded her thanks and then looked back in the direction of the smoke as she waited for Anakin to join her. She had a bad feeling about what they were going to find out there.

 She’d hoped by reporting Shmi as a runaway slave that the Hutts would track her down and they could sort out the political mess later. But from the looks of the billowing black smoke rising high above the hazy horizon… the sand people’s entire compound must be on fire. If the Hutts were responsible for such destruction to capture a ‘runaway’ slave… perhaps dealing with the sand people directly would have been easier. 

 Anakin hopped onto the second speeder bike and they both took off in that direction. She was focused on their destination, but she felt his emotions wafting back at her through the force. She could sense his anger, but dwarfing that was his fear. He was afraid of what they’d find when they arrived at the ruins of the camp. Was she equipped to help him deal with his grief? Would she be strong enough?  _I can only hope it won’t come to that._

 After an hour of travel time they stopped on the top of the ridge peering down at the smoldering remains of a Tusken camp. At least a hundred tents had all been burned to the ground, bodies were strewn around with blaster wounds and bad burns. Her shoulders dropped. Sand people may be the enemy of desert settlers, but this was pure genocide. By trying to save his mother had she inadvertently led these people to their destruction?

 Anakin was crouching by the edge, scanning the wreckage. There was turmoil in him too. Hatred yet sorrow. A conflicting mix of knowing what you’re supposed to feel and the disconnect with what you do feel. She rested a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her. “What do you sense?”

 “She’s not here.” He replied. Ahsoka breathed a little easier, there might still be a chance to save her. “But she was.” He said, swallowing. “I can feel her pain, like in my nightmares. They tortured her.” She felt his anger rise off him; stronger through their connection. He stood up so fast her hand slid off his shoulder. “They got what they deserved.” He growled with a raw primal utterance of emotion.

 She wanted to cry out that he couldn’t mean that, this wasn’t the Anakin she knew. But from everything she was feeling in the force… he  _did_  mean it. What could she possibly say or do to guide him? What would a Jedi do? She put her hand on his arm and turned him to face her and she stared up searchingly at his face. “Anakin,” she breathed. From the look on his face, he was daring her to challenge his feelings. “What happened here was not justice,” she started cautiously. “This was annihilation.”

He fumed for a moment but to her relief his anger was beginning to recede. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, looking away.

 “Don’t be sorry,” she said soothingly, reaching up to take his face in her hands. He looked at her again. “Emotions are a natural part of life, but what we do with them is what defines who we are. A Jedi must learn to control them, not because they are wrong, but so that we can act with clarity.”

 She brushed the tear away that slid down his cheek. “I just miss her so much. I know I’m not supposed to, but I do.”

 _I know the feeling…_  she almost said. “I know,” she said instead.

 “It’s hard to ignore it.”

 “Never ignore your feelings, Anakin. Act on them, but do so deliberately. Focus them into intention; for peace and justice.”

 He was silent for a few moments, searching her eyes. He was lost, confused, conflicted. She held him while he searched himself too, keeping her senses cast over him so she could feel everything he was. It was painful and overwhelming, but also oddly comforting to be standing there beside him again. Even when his pain had become too much to handle before, she’d never wished to leave his side. That feeling had only become stronger here. 

 “It wasn’t an accident you found me on Naboo,” he commented.

 _No_ , she wanted to say, but she stayed silent. He didn’t need an answer; he already knew. 

 “I’m glad you did.”

 She smiled at him. “Me too.” She said simply.

 “The force works in mysterious ways.” He said finally.  _You have no idea…_

 “Come on,” she said after a few moments. “Let’s see if we can find your mother.” She leapt off the cliff, using the force to slow her fall and landed gracefully in the valley below. He landed softly beside her seconds later. 

 “Over here,” he called after they’d been searching for a while.

 “What did you find?” she asked joining him.

 “Tracks.” She looked around them. There were tracks in every direction both from animals and people, what was so special about these? “Gamorreans.” She was grateful she hadn’t been forced to admit her ignorance. “Hutt lackeys.” He said matching his gaze to the direction they headed.

 _So, I was responsible for this…_  “Is it common for there to be conflict between the Hutt cartel and the sand people?” She asked. “I was under the impression only settlers had trouble with the Tuskens.”

 “It depends,” he said. “I know they’ve battled in the past because the Tuskens would encroach on Hutt territory. But for Jabba to send out his guards to slaughter them like this… It was either personal or they were looking for someone.”

 “Who could they be looking for?”

 “My best guess is a slave.” Anakin replied solemnly. “Smugglers and pirates would know better than to seek refuge with the sand people. Only a slave would be that desperate.” 

 “They’d do all of this to capture a runaway slave?” she was horrified.

 “A slave’s value far outweighs the lives of transients. It makes them rich, gives them prestige. Without slavery, the Hutts would be nothing.” His anger was rising again. She stopped asking questions. 

 “I suggest we pay this Jabba the Hutt a visit then.”

 “My thoughts exactly.” He replied clenching his fist. She wanted to say something about restraint or warn him to be careful or call him down from the edge. But she couldn’t. She simply hoped that as long as he believed he was in the presence of a Jedi master, he’d behave more diplomatically. Although, she was starting to think he wasn’t truly convinced she was one. He played along, of course, but there was doubt in his eyes when he looked at her. “So how come I’ve never seen you around the temple?” he asked as they climbed back up the ridge to where they’d left the speeder bikes.

 “Oh, well…” she scrambled to find a good enough excuse. It would be easy if she was still a youngling since he didn’t come near them, but most masters take turns teaching classes and you at least see them around, even if you’ve not met them all. “I’m rarely at the temple. I prefer to let the force dictate my direction rather than the senate.” She grinned at him.

 “Must be nice to not be ordered around all the time.” he commented.

 “It is and it isn’t,” she replied. “The force guides me, but rarely in easy directions. I never know where I’m going or what to expect. At least the council gives you briefings.” She chuckled, thinking about all the time spent being bored while one of the masters droned on about the latest mission. And how her and Anakin had often made faces at each other during them. Or lewd imitations of master Yoda or master Windu. Thinking back, it was surprising they survived that war, they hardly ever took it seriously. They did on the battlefield of course, when it was do or die. But the rest of the time it had just been a game to them.  _Not all of us did survive it…_  she reminded herself.

 “You sound like you miss it.” He said. She glanced at him hoping he couldn’t see the water building in her eyes.

 “The path I’m on can get very lonely,” she said hoarsely, trying to swallow her emotions. She had just told him to always act on his, but if she acted on hers… Well, it could really screw things up. If she hadn’t already… she thought back to their kiss in the closet on the ship. Despite years of training… she had never learned restraint.  _I’m sorry, Skyguy._

 “You know…” he said before climbing on his speeder and starting the engine. “If you ever do come back to the temple, well, my door is always open. I’d serve with you anytime. Or we could just talk.”

 She smiled and looked down, thankful that he’d turned his back to mount the bike so he hadn’t seen the sorrow that had surely etched her face. It was amazing the difference a few months could make. It made her heart ache to know that something awful had to have happened in the short amount of time before she’d become his padawan. She was suddenly determined to do anything she could to stop what had caused him so much pain. 

 —

 In the distance, she could just make out the domed towers of Jabba’s palace. It had taken several hours to get this far; they sped towards it in silence. With all the dust, wind and noise, it would have been pointless to try to talk anyways. She didn’t mind the quiet, his presence was enough. She could feel his anticipation mounting the closer they got to their destination. She wondered how they were going to talk their way through this. If Jabba had ordered the destruction of an entire population of drifters to capture a slave, it wasn’t likely he’d just hand her over to them. Assuming she was still alive in the first place.

 They dismounted outside and were greeted by several bounty hunters and a protocol droid. "We request an audience with the magnificent Jabba.” Ahsoka said, bowing politely. While bent over she glanced at Anakin who was glaring at them with no intention of bowing. She subtly kicked him. Finally, he gave in and gave a curt nod, she figured that was the best she’d get. 

 "Right this way,“ the protocol droid responded not seeming to notice Anakin’s hostile attitude. They followed it inside. Jabba lounged on a raised dais in the center of the room. All manner of bounty hunters or other creatures seeking his favor were crowded around the room drinking and watching skinny Twi'lik dancers prance about the room. A band was playing upbeat music in the corner and Jabba was nodding to the rhythm with his eyes closed. 

 The droid tottered over to the Hutt and whispered something to it. His eyes popped open as he glared down at them. He spoke in his own language with the droid translating. Though if she wasn’t mistaken, she was certain Anakin understood him because she could feel his responses to things Jabba said before the translation was given. 

 "The mighty Jabba wishes to know why you’ve interrupted his party.”

 "We are humbly sorry, your worship,“ Ahsoka replied ignoring the gagging noise that Anakin was making beside her. "We are looking for an escaped slave, and since you are the ruler of this fine planet, we came to request your assistance.” Apparently she managed to grovel just enough for Jabba to be cooperative.

 "His high exalted will help you find your missing property.“ She had to reach out and grab Anakin’s arm so he didn’t respond violently to the Hutt’s comments. 

 "We are most gracious, mighty Jabba. We are looking for a slave named Shmi Skywalker.” She replied. 

 "The glorious Jabba suggests that you look in the dungeon. His guards recently captured a runaway hiding amongst the Tuskens. If your slave is among them, he will release it for a finders fee of 200,000 credits.“

 "What?” Anakin said, reaching for his weapon only to have ten different blasters pointed at them. 

 "Pardon my young friend here, he’s still learning your customs. We will gladly pay your fee if she is among your prisoners.“ Jabba ordered several guards to escort them to the cells, and they bowed to him, and followed them out of the room.

 "Why are you negotiating with that slug?” Anakin demanded the moment they were out of the room. “I don’t have any money to give him, it’s outrageous!”

 "Calm yourself,“ she replied. "Sometimes you have to play their games." 

 "Now you sound like my master.” He scowled. 

 "And who is your master?“ She asked conversationally.  _As if she didn’t know._

 "Obi wan.” He said.

 "Ah yes, master Kenobi. The negotiator.“ She chuckled. "There is credence in playing their little mind games, but it’s not always the best way to solve a problem. Right now, we need to establish if she’s even here. Which we wouldn’t be able to do if we’d made Jabba mad up there.” She said pointing above them. 

 He hung his head. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” She stopped. She hated hearing him apologize for everything. He looked at her curiously.

 "Your emotions rule you, young Skywalker. Remember what I said about focusing them into intention and clarity?“

 "Yes,” he said shuffling his feet. 

 “Take a deep breath,“ she said waiting for him to do so. "Feel the force surround you. Good, now think about your goal. With it in sight, let the force flood around it showing you the path ahead.” She watched him for a moment, his face screwed up in concentration and then his shoulders relaxed and he opened his eyes looking at her more calmly. “Now lead the way.”

 She followed him into the depths of the dungeon. “I wish we could save them all.” He said as they walked past cell after cell of desolate, hopeless people. 

 "Me too,“ she replied sadly. "But we’re ill equipped at the moment to start a war with the Hutts.” She saw his shoulders slump and she wanted to hug him. She remembered his pain on Kiros when he found out slavers had kidnapped its entire population. She’d promised him that she would help him wipe out slavery throughout the galaxy when the war was over, but they’d never been given that chance. At least during that mission, they’d had the help of the Jedi council and the Republic senate. Right now though, it was just the two of them, trying to save someone he was attached to. Not only would the council disapprove, if they had to resort to violence, it could cause a war between the Jedi and the Hutts. With the other war coming soon… that was the last thing they needed. 

 "Mom!“ Anakin said running to a cell at the end of the second row. 

 "Ani?” The women replied coughing. She was in terrible shape. “Is it really you? My little Ani?”

 "I’m here, ma!“ He replied reaching through the bars to hold her. Ahsoka felt a lump form in her throat as she watched Anakin turn into a little child in his mother’s arms. "We’re going to get you out of here. Hang on!" 

 "Stay here, I’ll go negotiate her release.” Ahsoka turned but then was called back by his mother. Shmi reached through the bars and gripped her hand tightly. Ahsoka looked at her scarred and bloody face. Her heart aching as she felt her immense pain. His mother stared up at her with pleading eyes and she understood intuitively that she was begging Ahsoka to take care of her son. She swallowed hard and nodded her promise. For just one moment, she was certain that Shmi knew the truth of who she was. She didn’t know how, but… she was sure she did. Ahsoka squeezed her hand reassuringly. “I’ll be right back." 

 She left them both on their knees on the dirt covered stone trying to hold each other through the thick, rusty metal bars. 

 She returned ten minutes later to find them still in the same position. She pointed the guard with the key to her cell door. He unlocked it for them and Anakin caught his mother in his arms as she tried to stand up. 

“Let’s get out of here before Jabba ups the price again.” Ahsoka mumbled, putting her arm around Shmi’s other side to help her up the stairs.

 “He did what?” Anakin asked furiously.

“Shh…” Ahsoka responded instead. “I took care of it.” Was all she’d say. She didn’t want to tell him it had cost her all but thirty credits of the money she’d been desperately trying to hold onto since the end of the Clone Wars. She didn’t want to give him anymore reasons to get angry or feel guilty. She’d paid the ransom without hesitation, even though she had a hunch Shmi wouldn’t recover from her ordeal. But at least if they could get her out of this awful, smelly place, they’d have a chance to make up for some lost time. She hoped it would be enough.

 —

 Ahsoka left the sad scene unfolding inside the medical facility in Mos Eisley. Between the torture and the infections growing in her wounds, there wasn’t a lot the doctors could do for Anakin’s mother. They got her cleaned up and comfortable, but the damage had already been done. They’d called the Lars family to tell them they found her so they’d come to meet them in town right away. Padmé had stood close to Anakin’s side with her arm around his back to comfort him. They all stood around Shmi’s bed in their vigil of respect.

 She didn’t feel as though she belonged in there, so she’d slipped outside the first chance she could. She sat on a bench in the late afternoon heat, watching the diverse crowd of aliens, humans and droids bustle about as merchants shouted trying to hock their goods, but were often drowned out by rumbling ships arriving and departing from the spaceport not far away. Anakin joined her after a while and they sat in silence watching the twin suns set behind the rounded stone tops of the sand colored buildings.

 She could feel the mountain of grief weighing him down and wished that she could have done more to help him. She’d been so sure that saving his mother had been her trial but if it had been, she’d failed miserably.  _What would happen now?_  "I’m sorry about your mother,” she said softly. He didn’t respond at first so she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Tears were falling down his cheeks, but she didn’t reach out to wipe them away this time.

 "Why do people we love have to die?“ He asked hoarsely. She wasn’t sure how to answer him at first. She thought about all the people she’d lost through the years. Each one more painful than the last. She’d never let herself ask why, it was just the way it was. Some people live, some people die. There never seemed to be a rhyme or reason to who was chosen for either. Losing him had been the hardest for her. She’d spent many sleepless nights asking the force why she’d survived when he hadn’t. She’d never been given an acceptable explanation. Maybe there wasn’t one.

 "I don’t know,” she said at last. “I guess it’s the cost of living. I like to think though, that once they become part of the force, they’re not really gone. If anything, they’re closer than ever. Something we can reach to when we’re feeling alone. Something that gives us strength when we’re scared or lost. They become part of everything we do and in their memory, we keep fighting for what’s good. And use their energy only for peace and light. To honor them.” As her words fell in the space between them, he reached out and took her hand. Holding it as if that simple act could cure anything. She poured all the love that she contained into her hand so that he would feel it.

 “I feel like I failed her.” He said after a long time.

 “You didn’t.” she replied simply.  _I’m the one that failed…_

 “How can you be so sure? I didn’t save her! I wasn’t strong enough!”

 “Strength had nothing to do with it, Anakin. And you did save her. Maybe not her life, but you saved her soul. She had a chance to say goodbye to someone she thought she lost ages ago. You made her life complete. You brought her peace. Don’t ignore that.”

 “You said the force often guides you in difficult directions.” She nodded at his comment. “I’m glad it led you here.” She smiled at him, but before she could respond, Padme came out of the medical facility and they let go of each other’s hand.

 “I’m so sorry, Anakin.” The senator said hugging him. Anakin looked over Padme’s shoulder at Ahsoka a little sheepishly. She just gestured to carry on and went back to watching the sunset. Though she couldn’t help but watch them out of the corner of her eye. After everything she’d shared with him, it hurt to see their intimacy. She had no reason to be jealous really, there was no hope for them in this time; or her own, for that matter. She looked down at her drab but practical attire. The high neck tunic, long pants, gloves, boots and plain belt. Next to Senator Amidala’s sky-blue two-piece attire, long flowing curly brown hair and elaborate silver headpiece, why would he find her attractive anyways? She dressed to fight, the senator… well she dressed to impress.

 Her attention shifted to the little blue and white astromech droid that rolled up to where they were gathered, followed by a silver protocol droid that looked like he’d never been finished.

 “Artoo? What are you doing here?” Padme asked as though annoyed to see the droid. If only she knew how special he was. R2D2 beeped a series of different noises.

 “He says he’s carrying a message from an Obi wan Kenobi. Do you know anyone by that name? I tried to get him to wait on the ship until you returned, my lady, but he was quite insistent it was important to tell you immediately.” The protocol droid chattered.

 They hailed a rickshaw to take them to the shuttleport; after climbing in the two-seater with the senator, Anakin called back to Ahsoka to see if she was coming. Ahsoka shrugged but then said she’d meet them there. She politely said goodbye to the Lars family, offering them her condolences and then ran down the street; raced past the rickshaw, climbed up a building, looked back in their direction and winked at him, then she flipped over the far wall smiling to herself. Even if she knew she couldn’t come between him and Padme, she couldn’t stop herself from showing off just a little. His expression had been priceless. As interested as he was in Senator Amidala, he was still a man of action and all this diplomacy and chivalry was boring him to death.


	3. Chapter 3

The three of them moved cautiously down the ventilation tunnel on Geonosis. Ahsoka had spent most of the trip here from Tatooine trying to avoid awkward questions from Padme about who she was and how she got there. Thankfully Anakin had stood up for her by telling the senator that Jedi work in accordance to the force and that it didn’t always make sense how they end up where they did. She had tried to answer as many questions she could honestly, but it was difficult to filter what was okay to say and what could influence the future.

 Her and Anakin had spent a few times talking when Padme was in her quarters, but she had to keep reminding herself she was in the past and there were things he shouldn’t know yet. Had he known she was from the future, he probably would have bombarded her with questions about what it was like. As it was, she’d felt him holding back. They did seem to fall into comfortable times where they swapped stories. But even those she’d had to be careful with because many of hers were from a war that had yet to happen.

 She liked the easy familiarity with him. Even if this wasn’t the version of him she’d bonded with, he was still the same person and it was comfortable to be with him. It was hard to put her focus back on what they were doing. They were walking into, if she remembered correctly, the battle that started the Clone Wars. No wonder Anakin had been so broken at the time she became his padawan. She’d had no idea he’d gone through so much back to back. She could still feel the ache from him for the loss of his mother. But she’d also felt that he had been comforted by her words. They didn’t bring her back, or stop them from happening, but they’d been something. And he was slowly making peace with it. She hoped that this battle wouldn’t undo that process.

 In a few moments of meditation during the trip, she’d found herself wondering if it was actually Padme she was supposed to help. Or even more, that maybe what she was supposed to change had nothing to do with either of them. She wished the temple guardian had given her more guidance in what she was doing. How could she know what she was supposed to change, when she didn’t even know what any of this was in connection to? Had finding Anakin been only a happy circumstance in a bigger trial? Or was helping him part of her trial?

 She pushed her doubts aside, turning at an indistinct sound. “Did you hear that?” she asked them. They both shook their heads. She closed her eyes, reaching into the force to listen harder. It sounded like wings… the flutter of hundreds of them… She felt a tickle of awareness and jumped between them and the tunnel they’d just come from, pulling her lightsabers from her belt in preparation of what was coming.

 “What is it?” Anakin asked, grabbing his lightsaber too. She didn’t have time to wonder why he had a different one than normal.

 “Wings.” She said, head snapping from side to side as she thought she saw movement. Out of the darkness came a swarm of giant bugs;  _Geonosians_. She ignited her lightsabers, spinning them into her reverse grip and crouching in battle readiness.

 “White lightsabers?” Anakin asked from behind her. Leave it to him to think about her weapons rather than the battle they were about to fight. “How do you have white ones?”

 “Not now!” she shouted as the swarm started coming at them, firing blasters. She spun around, moving to deflect the bolts. It had been awhile since she’d been in a war zone, but she fell back into the battle dance because it was ingrained in her. She moved swiftly, losing herself in the force and letting it guide her movements. As she sliced her way through them, doing her best to protect Padme behind her, she noticed that Anakin had moved up next to her, and just like old times, they fought side by side.

 “But really,” he said leaning over despite the fire fight they were in the middle of. “I didn’t know lightsabers could be white. Who are you?” he whispered the last part as though he was afraid of Padme overhearing his own doubts about her identity. She didn’t have a chance to answer him though as they were pushed further down the tunnel into a door.

 “Go!” she ordered. “I’ll hold them off.”

 “But…”

 “Protect the senator!”

 “Right.” He said almost as though he’d forgotten. They disappeared through the door and now that they were gone, she relaxed into what she knew best.

 She fought until the last one fell and then went to open the door to follow them. The door didn’t open though, and she jammed her lightsabers into it, cutting a hole. She swung her arms to catch herself since there was a drop off on the other side. She was surprised to find a battle droid making factory. She’d destroyed one of these before, but this one was far bigger than the one they’d rebuilt later. There were conveyor belts going in every direction, it was sweltering hot and machinery everywhere she looked. This factory must churn out thousands of battle droids a day. Now she understood how the Separatists had so many so quickly.

 She glanced down and saw that Anakin had somehow gotten attached to a part that was being put together. She rolled her eyes. For some reason it didn’t really surprise her. But where was Padme? After looking around, she finally saw her in a vat that was headed towards the furnace. Further down the assembly line similar vats were being filled with molten metal. Anakin managed to get free but she heard him say something and realized his lightsaber had been cut in half. Now she understood why he had a different one later.

 “Skyguy!” she shouted. He glanced up at her and she threw him one of hers. “I want that back!” she said smirking. He gave her a wide smile and then leapt down to go after the swarm of Geonosians that had appeared. She felt his excitement when he turned on her white saber and swung it around. She shook her head, he was so funny sometimes.

 She force jumped across to grab hold of the feet of a battle droid heading in the direction of the senator. A dozen bugs flew at her and she had to rock back and forth to avoid getting hit by their blasters. She spun the droid around, but crashed into the others in the machine. It started falling and she leapt onto the back of one of the bugs, and flipped over to a ledge. She pulled her one remaining lightsaber out and fought them off, aware that the senator was getting closer to the furnace and they were running out of time.

 She glanced around. Anakin was fighting too many bugs himself to get to the conveyor controls. She saw more incoming. From where she was, she might be able to force lift Padme, but with more reinforcements coming, there was a greater risk that she’d drop her before she got her very far. Maybe if she could get her high enough to grab the edge of the container?

 She dropped down to another conveyor, dodging the slicing mechanisms and leapt to another ledge. “Padme!” she shouted. “I’m going to lift you up so you can grab the edge, but that might be as far as I can get you for now.”

 “Okay!” she called back, her voice echoing from inside the vat. Ahsoka closed her eyes and reached for her friend in the force. She did her best to ignore the sound of the Geonosians getting closer and focused on lifting her with the force. “Got it!” Padme yelled, just in time. One of the bugs hit Ahsoka in the arm with their blaster, she clenched her teeth against the pain and spun on them. She was really missing her second lightsaber right now.

 One of them grabbed her and lifted her up. She couldn’t hit it with her weapon because she was too busy trying not to get hit with more blaster bolts. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Artoo and threepio come in. “Artoo!” she yelled. “Shut down the factory!” he beeped obediently and she focused back on the bugs that were flying her away from them. She’d almost forgotten how much she hated these things.

 By the time she’d fought through the bugs that were carrying her away and got back down to the floor, Anakin and Padme were gone. She saw her other lightsaber on the ground and picked it up. They must have been captured.  _So much for protecting them. Great._  She raced down a tunnel in the direction of the tracks.

 She saw them up ahead in a carriage about to head out into what looked like a giant arena. She could hear the buzz of millions of wings and the thunderous roar of a crowd. The two rear guards she ran into turned on electrostaves. They were far more skilled with them than the magnaguards she’d fought before and it took her too long to dispatch them.

 She stopped dead in her tracks as she heard Padme’s profession of love to Anakin. Seeing them kiss felt like a lightsaber to the heart. She tried to clear her head, to push it aside, but for a moment the jealousy raged in her. She’d always known of course. She never had a chance with him. She’d always suspected him and the senator were far more than good friends. But never having to see it had allowed her fantasies to exist anyways. She watched the carriage move out of the tunnel into the arena, her moment of selfish thinking meant she hadn’t freed them in time. She stared after them, struggling to pull herself together. Berating herself for letting it hurt her so badly.

 She hadn’t gone back in time to fall in love, but whether she meant to or not… she had. She’d loved his future self. She’d wanted him. His past self… was even easier to love. And since at this particular moment they were the same age, they had the chemistry. But in the future… she was just his annoying little sister. It made her almost wish she could forget what she knew was right in favor of what she wanted. The tears streaked down her cheeks. She didn’t even bother to wipe them away. Him being in love with someone else was the least of her worries right now, but she couldn’t shake the weight that had fallen over her. She’d been lonely and missing him for too long.


	4. Chapter 4

A loud voice boomed around the arena, breaking into her thoughts. It sounded like Dooku. She shook herself again and took a deep breath. She slipped to the end of the tunnel to assess the situation. She could see Anakin, Obi wan and Padme chained to three large posts in the middle of the arena. But as she’d suspected the arena was full of Geonosians, plenty of guards and apparently at least a thousand battle droids. She suddenly wished someone had actually told her what had happened during this battle so she knew what to expect. There’d only ever been rumors and stories.

 She couldn’t risk running out there in the middle of it. It was a sure-fire way to get herself killed, and probably them too. They had survived this part, she was sure of it. But what if she’d changed something that made them not able to survive it? She felt a knot form in her chest as her head filled with doubts. Up until this point, she’d been running purely on emotion and instinct, but this… what happened here… there was a very real chance she could get him killed and she was pretty sure that wasn’t what she was meant to change. She tried to swallow her fear, but it coalesced into a lump in her throat that wouldn’t go away. 

 She gasped when she saw three large, dangerous beasts herded out into the arena. They were about to get maimed and there was nothing she could do about it. She was alone here. Even if she were to run out there, she wouldn’t make anything better. Thousands of soldiers and battle droids would descend on them, she didn’t have weapons to give them if she even managed to free them before being attacked… it was a hopeless scenario.  _But wait_ … Obi wan was captured before they arrived, and he obviously survived this battle regardless of whether or not Anakin or Padme got captured too. She remembered the funerals of the fallen Jedi from this first battle… which meant that reinforcements were coming. They had in fact forwarded Obi wan’s message to the council before coming here. So hopefully they’ll get here soon enough to help them.

 In the meantime, she saw Dooku in a raised box on the far side of the arena. She didn’t think she was strong enough to stop him herself, but he might just be distracted enough that she could do something. Maybe that had been her true objective all along; stop the war before it starts. He wasn’t the mastermind behind it, but capturing him today would definitely strike a major blow to the Separatist war effort.

 She took a deep breath. There was nothing she could do for them right now, but if she stopped this war, it would make so many things better. It might mean though, that she’d never be assigned to Anakin and he’d probably not pay any attention to her at all if she wasn’t his padawan. But considering her deep, emotional attachment to him, maybe it was for the better. She brushed the last tear aside and crept back through the catacombs to look for a way to go around the arena and get to Dooku. The guardian had said that attachment was forbidden for a Jedi. And if she still wanted to be one, it was time she acted on that rule.

 She shoved the pain down and away, reaching into the force for Dooku’s unmistakable presence in order to help guide her. The advantage she had right now, was that she’d been near him before, so she knew what he felt like. And as far as she could tell, he was the only Sith here at the moment. He must feel pretty confident he won’t be stopped. Too bad he doesn’t know what’s coming.

 As she snaked her way through the catacombs as quietly as possible, she tried not to think about what could be going on up there. Her focus was on following Dooku’s force presence, but this was nothing at all like the last time she’d been on Geonosis. She’d had help then… an army, Bariss… Anakin… Was she doing this because it was the right thing, or was she still hurting after seeing him kiss Padme?

 She heard movement and ducked to the side of the tunnel, holding her breath. She didn’t hear the sound of wings… she closed her eyes, feeling in the force. Master Fisto? She breathed a sigh of relief. The other Jedi had arrived! But she’d heard nothing to announce their presence so chances were Dooku didn’t know they were here either.

 She waited for Master Fisto to pass by and kept moving towards her goal. Down another passageway she nearly ran into Master Luminara and Bariss. Her heart had pounded a little harder in her chest than she’d expected as she hoped they wouldn’t notice her. She still burned from Bariss’ betrayal even after all this time. But she hadn’t realized that Bariss had been here during the first battle of Geonosis. Bariss was Anakin’s age wasn’t she? Why did he get knighted but not her? Was that part of why she’d betrayed them?

 She didn’t have time to think about it as a roar from above told her that the battle had begun. Dooku knew they were here now. She followed down the pathway that Master Luminara had gone down and paused in the shadows before the open space of the arena. She’d never seen so many Jedi in one place before. There was so much going on she didn’t even know where to jump in. Dooku wasn’t far away, but so much for the element of surprise now.

 She caught sight of Anakin riding in the carriage while deflecting bolts back at the battle droids firing in his direction. Padme was on top of one of the beasts with a blaster. Obi wan was fighting several Geonosians not far away. She breathed a sigh of relief that they were still alive. She felt compelled to run out there and join the fight, but then she remembered she was from the future and if any of these masters that knew her as a youngling saw her, she could cause them to lose concentration and focus, possibly getting them killed. And she didn’t want that. There’d been enough death the first round, she couldn’t live with herself if she caused more.

 As she watched from the shadows, she felt a sinking in the pit of her stomach. She’d heard rumors about how bad this battle had been, but witnessing it was far more painful than hearing stories. Especially since she felt like she should be out there fighting too. She was helpless to change anything. The war had already begun. She glanced up above her and saw that Master Windu was challenging Dooku. Next to him was a Mandalorian in full armor. Was that Jengo Fett? The clone template? Behind them, she could just make out a child?  _What? Who was that?_ Dooku didn’t have a child, did he?

 She saw Poggle near Dooku and a few Nemodians from the Trade federation. But as far as she could tell, Master Windu was the only one in that area and was now engaged in a battle with the Mandalorian.

 She scaled the walls as quickly and quietly as she could, so she didn’t draw attention to herself. Dooku was unchallenged now, but distracted. This was her chance. But just as she was about to leap over the edge, she heard the roar of at least a dozen gunships and glanced over her shoulder to see that the remaining Jedi had been backed into the center of the arena about to be overwhelmed. She caught sight of Master Yoda directing the clone reinforcements to protect the survivors. When she looked back up to where Dooku had been, he was gone.

  _Stang!_  She leapt over the railing and raced down the tunnel after him. By the time she found the landing platform, he was already in his ship and flying away. She wouldn’t make the leap even if there was something to hold onto on the rounded ship exterior. She fought her way through the dozen bugs guarding the platform and took another ship to follow him. She didn’t know how to fly these fancy Geonosian ships, but she had to think fast if she was going to catch up with him.

 She slipped into the force, letting her instincts and training guide her. It was almost as though she could hear Anakin’s voice directing her movements. She took off after him unsure of what she was going to do when she got there, but then she remembered that Anakin had lost his arm to Dooku, which meant they still had to fight so maybe she’d have help. But as she closed in on Dooku’s ship, she saw gunships closing on them. She had to dodge and weave to not get hit when they opened fire. She was so distracted by that, that she almost hadn’t seen Dooku nosedive down to another building.

 She rolled the ship, so she could follow suit. These ships were surprisingly maneuverable. No wonder they’d been so difficult to shoot down later on. Just as she was about to fly into the cave system after him, her ship was hit and there was a loud explosion from the front of it. The black smoke poured off the engine and she spiraled away, alarms blaring at her. She was used to crashing, but she didn’t think this ship would offer enough protection to survive it. And without Artoo… she couldn’t fix it in the air. She had to land now.

 She fought with the steering, barreling towards the desert floor, trying desperately to slow herself down. She turned sharply to the left down a lone canyon, but the gunship didn’t follow thankfully. She maneuvered the ship back towards the building Dooku had been heading towards, but she’d lost all control. She opened the hatch and force leapt from the ship grabbing a ledge as the explosion echoed around the canyon.

 —

 “Anakin!” she called running to his side. Cradling his head in her lap, she could still see the smoke still rising from the singed fabric of his robes. “Are you alright?” she looked up to see Obi wan and Dooku pacing around each other intensely concentrating on their own battle.

 “You came back.” He said a bit dazed, looking up at her. “I thought…” he didn’t have to say what he thought, she could feel his doubts. “Whose side are you on?”

 “Yours of course,” she replied, tears welling in her eyes.  _Always yours._  Obi wan cried out in pain and they both turned to see Count Dooku looming over where he’d fallen. Anakin was on his feet, blocking the downward swing that was meant to land the final blow.

 “Foolish boy!” Dooku drawled.

 “Anakin, here!” Obi wan shouted throwing him his lightsaber. Anakin caught it in his hand and rounded on the Sith lord. Ahsoka ignited hers and flipped so she landed behind him.

 She glanced at master Kenobi and heard him gasp, mumbling to himself, “that’s not possible.” She didn’t have time to explain anything to him. She swung low, Anakin went high, both attacks keeping Dooku too busy blocking to strike. Despite only having one lightsaber, he parried their attacks easily, making it difficult to exploit a weakness. She recognized pieces of Ventress’ fighting style but Dooku’s was far more refined and effective. Of all the Sith agents she’d faced, he was the most advanced. He sent a force of blue lightning at her and she brought both her sabers up to absorb the blow. Meanwhile Anakin had swung around with his left hand and Dooku had cut through the lightsaber that Obi wan had thrown him. She pushed back at his spell causing him to lose footing, but he still managed to duck under Anakin’s swing.

 She focused the force, watching their battle unfold in slow motion. Spinning and flipping to keep more of his attention on her rather than Anakin. A tickle of awareness hit her and she realized almost too late that Dooku had found a hole in Anakin’s defenses. She force flipped, spinning around to face him, and dove in front of the strike, pushing Anakin back in the process. His slash went straight across her abdomen and she rolled away in a surprising amount of pain. In a moment of pure fury, Anakin forced pushed Dooku into the wall and then ran to her side.

 She could feel his presence but she kept her eyes closed with gritted teeth. The burns causing sharp pain to continually radiate through her. She felt his hands on her ribcage and looked down to see him tracing his fingers across the white convoree tattoo that had been hidden under her tunic. It had appeared after Mortis, but she’d never known how. Not even the temple healers could make sense of it. “How? I knew Fulcrum couldn’t be your real name, but who are you really? Tell me the truth.” he asked. She leaned her chin down to discover that she hadn’t been burned across where the markings were. It was as if the tattoo had protected her from what should have been a lethal blow. She reached a hand to take the one of his that was touching her abdomen; pressing it down so his fingers spread across her skin. He looked up at her face.

 “I’m from the future,” she whispered. “I was sent here to change something, but I don’t know what it was. I think I failed…” She let her head fall back on the stone. It was hard to focus. His touch was more distracting than the pain.

 She heard the familiar tapping of Master Yoda’s gimer stick as he hobbled closer.  _Oh great._  She turned her head away from the doorway where the sound was coming from. With Yoda engaging Dooku, her and Anakin could safely talk for a few moments.

 “Why would you jump in front of me?” he asked. She reached her other hand up to caress his face.

 “It’s the will of the force that you’re by my side. I just want to keep you there in one piece.” Her cheeks were wet thinking about the moment he’d said that very thing to her all those years ago. And yet, in this timeline, they were yet to be spoken.

 “Take me back with you.” He said suddenly…  _passionately_.

 “If you survive this, Anakin, we’ll meet soon enough.” Her head was spinning now. She’d failed to save his mother, failed to get involved in the main battle and failed to change anything important. Whatever she’d been meant to do here… she hadn’t done. She felt the scene around her drifting away. She didn’t want to go back to her time, where Anakin wasn’t. It wasn’t long now before he’d meet her younger self; she couldn’t stay. She knew that, but she wanted to. She really wanted to.

 The ceiling above gave way and she instinctively closed her eyes, throwing her arms around him and rolling to block the stones with her body. Nothing hit her.

 She opened her eyes to find she was laying across his chest in the ruins of the Jedi temple back on Coruscant.  _Oh no…_

 “Anakin!” she whispered, pressing her hand down on him to shake him slightly. His eyes popped open and he smiled at her, but then looked around confused.

 “Where are we?” he asked.

 “I think we’re back in my time.” she said nervously. He shouldn’t be here. Did she break the timeline? How had he come back with her?

 He sat up and looked around at the rubble. “What is this place?” he sounded fearful.

 She sighed, “what’s left of the Jedi temple.”

 “What?” he said surprised. “What happened to it?”

 “Shh…” she breathed. “It’s a long story, but right now… we have to get out of here before we get caught.” She stood up and scanned the vicinity. She couldn’t hear any droids or guards nearby. “Come on,” she reached out a hand to help him to his feet.

 He followed her in silence and they scaled the far wall that she’d used to get in the first time. The higher position gave a better view of the carnage that had once been a magnificent temple. She heard him suck in a breath. “Is this the future?”

 “For you it’s the future, for me… it’s reality.” she said, crouched down in the shadows next to him. His next question was interrupted by the buzz of her comm.

 “Did you find what you were looking for?” the voice asked. She saw Anakin look at the device on her wrist in confusion.

 “Who is that? Why do they sound familiar?” he asked. She put her finger to her lips.

 “Well… not exactly,” she whispered into it. “But I did find something.” she said looking up at Anakin.

 “Where do you want me to pick you up?” Bail asked.

 “How about I send you coordinates when I get to a safe place.” she replied.

 “Sounds good.” she shut off the comm.

 “Look,” she said, taking his hands in hers. “The world I live in is a very different one than the world we just left. I’ll try and explain what I can, but I’m not sure you’re even supposed to be here. I must have messed something up. You’re going to see people you know and you’re not going to see people you want. And I’m sorry. But as hard as it is, we’re going to have to take it a step at a time, because I don’t even know what I should be revealing. It’s not normal to know the future. And if I tell you too much and then we get you back to your time… it could have devastating consequences.”

 He nodded solemnly and then followed her out of the ruins.


	5. Chapter 5

She led the way through the ship with Anakin right on her heels. They hadn’t spoken much the rest of the way to rendezvous with Bail. When the temple guardian had sent her back in time, he had only told her that she was supposed to change something. Not only was she not sure she’d done that, now it would seem she’d somehow managed to bring him back with her. She didn’t know what to do. Anakin could be helpful with the rebellion, but it was going to be difficult explaining his presence. Not to mention, if something were to happen to his past self… well… she didn’t even want to think about that.

 Bail stood when she entered the room, but in the middle of reaching out to greet her he froze, mouth agape.

 “Senator Organa?” Anakin asked sounding as surprised as Bail looked. She wasn’t sure if she should be amused or worried; she’d never seen the senator speechless before.

 “Ahsoka,” he found his voice at last. “We need to talk,” he said tightly and pulled her into a room adjacent to his office, leaving Anakin looking after them with concern. “I don’t know how, but he can’t be here!” Bail nearly yelled at her. She stepped back surprised by his outburst.

 “I don’t know how he got here,” she started. “It’s all rather unusual, but he could be helpful.”

 “No. You don’t understand, he  _can’t_  be here. He  _can’t_  be a part of the rebellion. You have to get him out of here. I’ll give you a ship so you both can leave, but you can’t tell him anything about our operations!”

 “What? Why?” She asked defiantly. Bail was pacing furiously. She could feel anger fuming in him. She’d never witnessed the senator so distressed. She knew it was strange that she’d somehow brought the Anakin of the past forward into their time, but she couldn’t understand why he was acting like this. As the leader of the rebellion, he should be grateful for any assistance they found, even if it was…  _unnatural_.

 “Have you heard of Lord Vader?” he asked, stopping at last.

 “Of course I have. Another Sith lord; the Emperor’s latest puppet.” Bail looked at her with pity. What wasn’t he telling her?

 His shoulders dropped, “Lord Vader… well…” he stammered. “Is his future.”

 “What?” she cried. “No! That’s impossible!” Now it was her turn to pace the room. “That can’t be right! You’re lying!” she demanded, her head reeling.

 “Why would I lie about this?” he asked sadly, sitting down. She looked at him with pleading eyes.

 “No, it can’t be! If Anakin was still alive, I’d feel it!”

 Bail hung his head. “I know it’s hard, Ahsoka. But it’s the truth.”

 “If it’s the truth, why didn’t you tell me before?” she demanded.

 “I have to be careful.” He said.

 “You didn’t trust me!” she interpreted instead.

 He stood up, “I have to be careful,” he repeated. “Building rebellions… they’re not easy. In war times… there’s no telling who’s a spy, or who will betray you.”

 “You honestly think I could be working for the Sith?” she was offended.

 “Look, I may not be a Jedi, but I’ve been around them enough to understand that the bond between a master and their student is unbelievably strong. Knowing, like I did, that Anakin had turned to the dark side… It was an incredible risk to bring you in. You left the Jedi order after all. I didn’t know for sure where your loyalty lay.”

 “You think I wanted to leave the Jedi order? You think that just because I was no longer one of them, that I’d automatically become evil? I didn’t want to leave! I left because they turned their back on me. I left because they threw me out! I left because they betrayed me!” she couldn’t stop her voice from rising. “I might no longer be a Jedi, but I still hold their ideals. I’ve fought countless Sith in my lifetime and I could never be one of them!  _Ever!_  I can’t believe you’d even suggest that!”

 “Ahsoka! Wait!” Bail called, but she was already to the door.

 “I’ll take the ship and be on my way.” She said over her shoulder. Then she grabbed Anakin’s hand on the way by and went down to the hanger bay.

 —

 She boarded the first ship they came to. She wasn’t really looking or thinking. Her brain was fuzzy; her body on auto pilot. She sat down hard in the captain seat and went through the familiar motions of starting the ship, flying out the shield and punching it into hyperspace. Her entire body felt like it was made of lead. Every movement was physically painful as if she’d forgotten how to breathe. The weight of what Bail had told her had sent her systems into shock. She couldn’t even enjoy the fact that some version of him was still sitting next to her. 

 As she stared ahead at the streaking lights of stars passing by, she never in her life felt so alone. It had been one thing to think that Anakin was dead, but to know that he was still alive and had intentionally cut her off? It didn’t even matter to her at the moment that he’d turned evil. He had been the only person in her life that she’d completely trusted. There wasn’t even a word for the agony of that revelation; that betrayal. If Anakin had truly turned to the dark side, he must have had a pretty kriffing good reason. She couldn’t even speculate.

 "So…“ he broke into her thoughts. She turned her head to look at his young handsome face. The padawan braid falling down his right shoulder, and the rest of his honey colored hair pulled back in a small ponytail. "Your real name is Ahsoka?” He was trying to sound casual, but he looked worried. She didn’t really blame him. Since they’d met on Naboo during this debacle, no matter what she was feeling, she’d done her best to stay calm. But now… she was practically hyperventilating, and surely… he could feel that. She nodded numbly. “Why was Senator Organa so upset?”

 "It’s complicated,“ she managed, her mouth dry. She couldn’t face his questions right now. It was all too much. "Excuse me,” she said standing up. “I need to go meditate for a while, we’ll talk later.” He let her go without asking anything else.

 She’d had no problem falling in love with him when she was in his time, but now that he was in hers, now that she knew his future… now… it was hard to even look at him. It was hard to hold onto the memories of all the good times they’d shared. It was as if they’d begun to spoil, like food left out too long. She’d told him that him knowing the future could have devastating consequences, but then again… perhaps he needed to know the future so none of these things happened. But would that make things better or screw everything up?  _How much worse could it get, really?_

 She found some private quarters and pulled her shredded tunic off, stopping in front of the mirror. The head of the convoree tattoo sat just below her heart, its wings curved under her breasts. Two stripes went in a diamond shape down past her belly button, roughly mimicking her facial markings, almost as if it was always meant to be there. Dooku’s lightsaber slash had gone right across the body of the bird on her rib cage, the parts it didn’t cover had a string of welts across it. She found a small medkit, relieved to see it contained burn relief salve, and gingerly applied it to her wounds. 

 After waking up on Mortis and later discovering she’d somehow been marked by something, she’d been scared to tell her master. She’d tried to find out what had happened there, what could have made it possible. But neither Anakin or Master Kenobi had been forthcoming. They’d treated her differently afterwards. Obi wan had fussed over her… Anakin had looked at her like she could just disappear at any moment. Whatever it was, it had scared them both. But they’re not the ones that had discovered a giant bird tattooed across their abdomen that apparently… can stop a lightsaber from killing you.

 She picked up her tunic and did her best to patch it up. She was going to need a new shirt. And Anakin was going to need a different outfit. They’d need fuel and food, supplies… and she only had thirty credits left after her deal with Jabba the Hutt. It meant they were going to have to work for a while. Because after the way she’d left things with Senator Organa, she couldn’t ask him for money. At least she knew they could make good money as mechanics; since he’d taught her what she knew and he was the best one around. It was ironic that she brought him to the future only to put him to work. But since she didn’t know how long it would take to find a way to send him back, she had to plan for the long term.

 Putting her tunic back on, she knelt in the middle of the room and allowed herself to push all her fear, pain and anger to the side. Diving deep into the comforting presence of the force, she escaped for precious moments, the reality that had been put before her. Even with the gaping hole there where her master had once been, she surrendered to its freedom and light. She didn’t know what lay on the road ahead, but she took comfort in the one thing nobody could take from her; the force. 

 She was so deep and lost in its colorful world, it took her awhile to realize she wasn’t alone there anymore. It felt as though another world had attached to hers, linking the two by a tunnel. As she stared at the new connection in her mind, she felt his thoughts flood into hers. She could feel his anxiety, the residual aching grief from his mother’s death, his admiration for Obi wan, his lust for Padmé. It was as if he was actually sharing his life with her; something he’d never done as her master. She should have been annoyed by his interruption, but there was a comfort to it. She wondered if he could feel her emotions like she felt his. Could he feel the gaping depths of loneliness? The mourning of everything she’d lost and everything yet to come? Could he feel her desire? Did he know how much she still loved him even with her broken heart? 

 She opened her eyes in the dimly lit room, to find him sitting cross legged in front of her. He’d removed everything but his shirt and pants, getting comfortable it would seem, for a long meditation session. She softened some. Even if the Anakin in her timeline had abandoned her, his past self refused to. Of course, that might simply be because she was his only link to getting home. But it was stupid to write him out of her life before he left anyways. And now that she really thought about it, she’d abandoned him first. Maybe she was getting what she deserved.

 She looked him over, wondering how to transform him from the obvious padawan look to something safer in this post-Jedi world. She scooted closer and untied the leather that was holding his hair back in a ponytail, ruffling it some to see how much of the braid it would hide. Barely half. She tried parting his hair to the left so the brunt of it fell over it, but that seemed odd to her since she’d only ever seen him part it the other way. She brushed it the way that was familiar, enjoying the way it felt in her fingers. She’d always wanted to know what hair felt like since she didn’t have any. But she’d never been brave enough to ask someone if she could touch theirs. She glanced nervously at his face, but he still had his eyes closed. Though there was a hint of a smile as if he was enjoying this. She shrugged and went back to trying to hide the braid. Finally she got an idea and walked on her knees around behind him and started trying to braid the rest of it into small rows.

 Her hands were clumsy though, she was jealous. The other younglings had made braiding look so easy. She studied the padawan braid trying to mentally determine how to create the pattern and then she meticulously went to work trying to tame the flyaway locks. If she pinched him accidentally he never reacted, she was impressed with his patience and willingness to let her experiment without even asking permission first. 

 Once she managed to get his whole head braided she stood up and came around to look critically at her work. It wasn’t as good as she would like, but it did give a bit of a rougher appearance that would sell the hard worker edge to future customers. She screwed up her face, it was missing something though; even with the rest braided the padawan one stood out. She looked around the room and then down at the tunic she’d just repaired. Then without another thought, ripped a strip of fabric off the bottom edge and tied it around his head, tucking the longer braid underneath it. Then she tied the braids back together at the base of his neck and nodded to herself. It would have to do.

 Leaving him sitting there, she went through all the ships closets looking for any spare fabric lying around. She found a few things that she brought back into the room with her and dumped on the bed. She held up different jackets and tops in front of him trying to imagine something that looked more, well, civilian-like. She found a dark blue jacket with an asymmetrical collar and had him stand up and put in on over his gray tunic. It was a thicker material, but it was too fancy. She took it off him again and hoping Bail would forgive her, she ripped the sleeves off of it.

 Anakin just watched her as she puttered around designing this random outfit for him. She tried not to blush when she saw the way he looked at her. She pretended to stay focused on her task. She put the now vest, back on him, buttoning it part of the way up. If she glanced at his face, he’d look away a little flustered. But she could feel warmth coming from him whenever she got close. It was like he wanted to touch her. It embarrassed her, even though she secretly wanted him to. Not that she’d encourage it after the profession of love she’d witnessed him and Padme make back on Geonosis. Part of her wanted to shake him to remind him of it. But she decided to just let it slide for now. If it started leaning back towards what they’d shared on the ship after leaving Naboo, she’d face it then. Right now, she supposed it was natural to want the comfort of another’s touch after everything they’d been through since all of this started.

 She found a long leather belt and fashioned it across his chest diagonally poking notches in it to hold tools later. Then she handed him his Jedi belt to put back on. She then roughly tapered his pants so they’d fit inside his boots without the shin guards and stood back to look at the final product. He definitely didn’t look like a Jedi anymore, except for the lightsaber clipped to his side.

 “Dare I ask, what this is all about?” he spoke at last; curiosity getting the better of him.

 “It’s dangerous to be a Jedi in my world, so… I’m making you look like a mechanic. I didn’t have a chance to ask Bail for some credits before we left, so we’re going to have to do some odd jobs for awhile.” She replied simply. He shrugged and sat back down, while she made her own outfit. She took some of Bail’s pants and pulled them on over her other ones. They were much too large, but that would work to her advantage. She used one of her lightsabers to shorten them a bit and then fixed them into coveralls. She tightened her belt over top of them and then rolled the legs up just above her boots. Then she tied another piece of fabric around one arm and looked at herself in the mirror. “Something’s missing.” she said.

 “If we’re supposed to be mechanics, we’re missing grease,” he replied casually. She glanced at him to find him smirking.

 “You’re right! Let’s get greasy!” That totally didn’t come out how she thought it would. He didn’t comment on it thankfully, he just followed her down into the engine room.

 He pushed her playfully against some pipes leaving streaks of grime across her back, so in retaliation she put the hand she’d just touched against grease on his cheek. The next thing she knew they were splattering each other with it and laughing hysterically.

 “Enough, enough!” She said, doubled over wheezing; her sides hurting from laughing so hard. They were both covered in the stuff. “I just wanted it to look like we’d been working on engines, not bathing in them.”

 He put his hands on her shoulders and looked her up and down, then spun her around. Instead of saying anything he just nodded approvingly. She trembled slightly, her smile fading as she looked up and his dirt streaked face. Why would he turn to the dark side? How? There was so much light in him.  _Was it my fault?_  His face creased with concern at her sudden change in mood. But before he could ask, she leapt up throwing her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. Tears streaming down her face, but she couldn’t stop them. He wrapped his warm arms around the small of her back and pulled her tightly to him. He held her in silence while she cried.

 She wanted him to promise he’d never leave her. She wanted to tell him everything that had happened. Every moment of fear, every close encounter. She wanted his advice, his direction, his teachings. She was tired of fighting alone out there. She wanted him back, not his past self. Not whatever had happened to the timeline. She wanted  _her_  Skyguy back. The one that drove her crazy. The one that could be rough and harsh and deep. But soft and understanding and sweet. She missed their childish games, their competitive score keeping, the silly banter. She liked him like this, but she loved him the way he was; as her brother, as her best friend. And for just one moment, she swore that if there was one thing she could actually change, it wouldn’t be for him. It was a selfish thought. It was completely un-Jedi like. But if she had one chance to do any of it again, she would never let herself leave the temple that day; she would never leave  _him_.

 "I’m sorry.“ She said finally pulling away.

 "For what?” He asked, letting her go, but catching her hands in his. 

 "You must have a million questions and I’m probably not doing anything to put your mind at ease.“ She sighed imagining how weird all of this must be for him. Meeting a stranger that says they’re from the future… if that wasn’t bad enough… "and you’ve probably figured out by now that I’m not who you think I am.”

 "I know you’re not a Jedi master.“ He said. "And I do have a lot of questions. But I trust you.”

 "Why?“ She asked tipping her head curiously to the side.

 "Well, I wasn’t sure at first. I was drawn to you, but then when you disappeared for a long time on Geonosis… I thought maybe I was wrong to trust you. But then when you told me you were from the future and supposed to change something, I thought you must really care about me to go to all that trouble. And if that’s true… well… then I have no reason not to trust you. Unless of course, none of this was about me or you were sent back in time to make something worse, in which case…” she put her finger to his lips to stop him from talking. He looked at her as though he wanted to kiss her and she knew it was time to tell him the truth.

 She motioned for him to follow and they sat at a table in the galley. “I’m not sure how it works, exactly, because there is nothing normal about any of this…” she trailed off wondering where to even start. “I do care about you. More than you will probably ever know. We have a bond because… well… because I was your padawan.” She said. She watched the surprise register on his face. “You never wanted one, I know that… but you got one. And you took really good care of me.”

 "Then why did you leave the Jedi order?“ He asked. It was her turn to be surprised. "I overheard some of your conversation with Senator Organa,” he admitted sheepishly. 

 She swallowed hard, wondering how to explain all that had happened. If she told him the whole story, would it change his perception of the Jedi? Would it make him turn still? She doubted that was what she was supposed to change. “Mistakes were made,” she said vaguely. “At the time… they were unforgivable. But now they seem so insignificant.” Her admission didn’t make what had happened hurt less. But then again, if she’d stayed… her fate probably would have been the same as theirs. It was hard to know what the better course was. And now, if she truly had the opportunity to change all those things, she realized that she was sorely lacking a big enough picture of what actually happened. 

 "It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.“ He said squeezing her hand.  _But I do. I’m just not sure I should._  "Can you at least tell me what happened to the Jedi?" 

 "I can, but…” she sighed heavily. He looked at her sympathetically. “Nothing about this is easy." 

 "I understand.” He replied.  _I’m sure you do. Better than most._

 She took a deep breath, reaching into the force looking for any warning signs. Finding none she looked up at him and told him everything she knew _._ They talked for hours, he didn’t take a lot of it well, but she didn’t blame him. He seemed most upset about what he’d become. 

 "Why would I do that?“ He asked. She could feel the fear he was trying to hide.

 "Only you could know that.” She said. It wasn’t a particularly helpful statement, but it was as much of a mystery to her as well. 

 He looked at her suddenly, “is that what made you so upset?”

 "Yes.“ She replied. 

 "You didn’t believe him when he told you, why?”

 She bit her bottom lip because it started trembling. Oh great, she was going to cry again if she wasn’t careful. “You fought so hard to destroy the darkness, I couldn’t believe it would ever consume you.” She let her statement hang in the air between them realizing that as she’d started speaking it, she simply meant which side of the war he was on. But as it floated there… she realized the truth of what she’d said. It wasn’t the bad guys he’d been fighting, it was himself. As though the enemy wasn’t on the battlefield, it was inside him. 

 As if he realized the same thing, he met her gaze, “I know what you’re supposed to change.” Her eyes widened. “You have to kill me.” His brows furrowed in seriousness.

 "No! I could never!“ She cried.

 "Not this me. That me! Think about it; why else would I come back to your time? Unless what I was meant to do was face myself?” She shook her head. 

 "But if you fail… you’ll be gone forever!“

 "I won’t fail.” He said surprisingly calm.

 "How can you be sure?“

 He smiled suddenly, his eyes twinkled, "because you’ll be beside me.”

 —

 Anakin rolled out from under the wing where he’d been working and looked up at her. She paused mid turn of the bolt she was fixing to look at him curiously. They’d been working in a shipyard in the outer rim for a month since he’d joined her in the future. Unfortunately, with their limited resources and connections, information about Vader had been difficult to come by. Before they could confront him, they had to find him. And everywhere he popped up, not only was he heavily protected with several battle cruiser escorts, he’d disappear again before anyone could get close enough to track him or stow away. So they’d been forced to take the operation slow; work hard and listen to the news as often as they could. Either from the holo or the locals and travelers. 

 "Do you have any idea how this time travel thing works?“ He asked. 

 "How do you mean?” She replied.

 "Well, I’ve been here in your time for at least a month, so does that mean I’ve been missing from my past for the same amount of time? Like what if my history is being rewritten because I’m not there so we’re actually chasing a ghost rather than my future? And if I’m not there to meet you, will I just wake up one day in this time and you won’t be there anymore? Or are there rules like, nothing is laid in stone until we’re all back where we belong?“

 "Um…” she paused. He had some good points. “I never really thought about it. I’ve been so focused on taking these missions one step at a time. But I was in your past for at least a couple weeks and then when we came back to my time, it seemed only a few hours had passed.” She climbed into the cockpit of the freighter they were fixing and sat down. He joined her a few minutes later. They were alone in the hangar that evening. They preferred to work later than the others because it gave them time to talk freely. They’d been living off the ship she’d taken from Bail. But they were making enough credits to buy supplies and save up for fuel costs later. “I’m not sure how it works. I guess I just assumed that when we return to our time, we return at the point that we left or at least near it. Everything we changed before or after would be reflected in that time moment or the choices we make later. Honestly, before this, I didn’t even know time travel was possible.”

 "Me either.“ He said after mulling over what she’d said. She leaned back against the seat; she was tired. It took physical effort to resist taking their relationship somewhere it shouldn’t go; especially with them pretty much living under the identity of husband and wife. Getting to be close to him, without a war to distract them… getting to feel like equals both in skills and age…. it was difficult to resist the pull; the  _need_. They were surrounded by people, but every day it felt like it was them against the world. And that made the magnetism that much stronger. She had to keep reminding herself constantly that they were still teacher and student. No matter what false sense of identity this twist in time created.  _Attachments are forbidden for Jedi._  The words of the temple guardian had been her mantra, but the truth was; no matter how hard she tried to deny it, she was already attached to him. Already in love with him. And he shared those feelings. So even if she did become a Jedi knight somehow, she would never be an honest one. Had the temple guardian been warning her to break her attachments? Had he been suggesting she break his? Or had it simply been a statement of an outdated doctrine and an overall lesson that would continuously be ignored?

 "How do you feel about attachments?” She asked, wondering how he would answer it before he became her master; before some of the things that had shaped him.

 "My master tells me constantly they’re not allowed. But how do you stop caring about people? Compassion, which I define as unconditional love, is essential to our life and roles as a Jedi. But yet, love itself, is discouraged. I’ve never understood what’s so wrong with love? I mean, I love you and you love me, but does that make us wrong? Does that make us evil?“

 "I don’t know.” She answered. “You never taught me not to care, and though it was difficult to let people go, I still loved every one of them. And after everything I’ve been through, I’ve come to believe it’s not attachment that’s dangerous; its obsession. Caring about others, loving them, should be a vital part of being a Jedi. But when we are so obsessed with someone that we can’t let them go, that we live in fear of losing them… or live in fear because we lost them…. I can see the darkness in that.”

 "Is that what happened to you?“ He asked. She felt the lump in her throat instantly. How could she explain what it was like to think she had lost him? How every day, no matter what she was doing, she thought of him; no,  _missed_  him. Did that make her dark?  _I don’t feel dark. Just lost._

 "I admit I’ve been obsessed with finding you. Finding out what happened. Why one minute you were there; as a comforting presence. But then the next moment you were gone. As if someone had simply severed our connection. I felt so lost. So afraid. So unworthy.” The pain of admitting those emotions caused her to double over. “You taught me so much. You taught me to survive. I’m alive because of your teachings. But… I still missed you. I still struggled to let you go.”

 "I’m glad you didn’t.“ He said, reaching for her. She knew she should stop him. She should pull away, she should resist. But she couldn’t. Their lips met, then their tongues. When she opened her eyes to gaze at him, she knew what she had to do.

 "Do you love Padmé?” She asked. He let go of her quickly.

 "Yes.“ He said looking at the floor.

 "And she returns your feelings?”

 "Yes.“

 "Then we should get you back to your time so the two of you can be together."  _Before we do something stupid. Well… more stupid._

 His eyes widened. "What about you?” Her heart did a little somersault as she realized that she had the perfect opportunity to have what she’d always wanted. But… it didn’t feel right. Actually, that wasn’t true… everything about them right here, right now, felt right… but she knew it wasn’t. He was meant to be with Padmé. And no matter her own feelings about it, it was the only thing she was sure of.  _Attachments are forbidden for Jedi._  Yeah… but Anakin wasn’t just a Jedi. And neither was she, for that matter. Both of them… both of them were different. Though indoctrinated into a strict religious organization, they had not been brainwashed by the overzealous ideas. They knew what true light in the galaxy meant, and it meant humanity. It meant caring. It meant forming relationships. It meant love and compassion. And it meant learning to let people come and go.

 "I’ll be fine.“ She said, realizing that this was her true trial. It wasn’t his life she was supposed to change, it was hers. She had to let him go. Not walk away, not abandon him. But rather, she had to stop holding onto him; depending on him. It was time for her to fly on her own. It didn’t mean he couldn’t be around. It simply meant he was no longer her crutch. 

 "You really think her and I could be together? It would go against everything the Jedi teach. Is that what you want me to do? Or are you suggesting it because I already did?”

 "Admittedly, I don’t know a lot about your past or your personal life, Anakin. Because, as my master, you never talked about it. But I knew things anyways, I could feel them, and the way you’d look at her… it was obvious. I just wished you’d felt like you could tell me. Those closest to you… we knew you even though you tried to hide it. But we never said anything because we loved you and we hoped you’d start the conversations. Being with Padmé may not be a very Jedi-like thing, but it was the only thing I remember, ever making you happy. And I want you to be happy. As for the Jedi… I would never tell you to willfully disobey them… however…“ she swallowed wondering exactly how to phrase what she wanted to say. She had a hunch that what she said right here, in this moment about Padmé… would shape his entire future. She wasn’t sure why she thought that, but she did. She thought of Callista and the Altisian Jedi and wished she hadn’t been so unnerved by them all those years ago as a padawan; their teachings about attachment would be handy right about now. "They would tell you to let her go for the greater good and your answer to that would probably be ‘no’.”

 "And what would you tell me?“ He asked, staring into her soul.

 "I would tell you not to think about it.” She said finally. “If you live in fear of having to make that choice, it will only make things worse. I would tell you to cross that bridge only if it comes to that. If I’d been afraid of losing everyone that I loved, I’d be so crippled I probably wouldn’t have survived this long. It didn’t make losing them easier. It just became something you learned to live with. It doesn’t mean they matter less to us, or that we’re somehow less because they’re not there. It just means we go on differently. We keep their memories close to us in the force, and we survive by continuing to fight for what we all believed in.”

 "How many people have you lost?“ He asked. She shivered without thinking.

 "Too many." 

 "I find it hard to believe that Padmé was the only thing that made me happy.” He said quietly and she looked up at him in surprise. “Especially when I had you around.” The tears threatened to consume her yet again. “I might not know what our relationship was like, but based on what I’ve learned since you showed up…. well… make sure you never hesitate to remind me how special you are.”

 "I’ll drive you crazy.“ She said with a choking attempt at a laugh. "I’ll sass your pants off and make you want to push me into the line of fire." 

 "So is that where Snips came from?” He asked chuckling too.

 "Yeah. I called you Skyguy and you got mad and then you never stopped calling me Snips.“

 "Skyguy?” He said laughing. “You didn’t call me master?” He looked indignant.

 "Oh I did… sometimes…“ she looked away embarrassed. "Only when the other masters were around though. We were quite unorthodox, I know.”

“Probably why we survived.” He said. His tone was good natured, but the statement wiped the smile off her face. She knew what he meant of course. That’s how they survived as master and student; they were a lot alike, and neither had much regard for proper protocol. But his words had brought her crashing back to reality. No matter how much she was enjoying this time with him, they had a job to do. And when it was done, everything would change. Everything would go back to the way it had once been. When they hadn’t survived the war. When everything was dark again.  

_He wasn’t the one chasing ghosts._


	6. Chapter 6

Ahsoka’s eyes snapped to the control panel as an incoming transmission beeped loudly. She furrowed her brow in concern.  _Who could that be?_  Anakin popped his head out of maintenance hatch where he’d been working on upgrading the ship. She met eye contact with him for a moment and then looked back and pressed the button.

 An encrypted message appeared on the screen. Anakin wiped his hands off on his pants and came over to look at it. “What is it?” He asked, reading the confusion in her face.

 “It’s from someone I thought was dead.” She said hesitantly, looking at him nervously. “He wants us to meet up with him near the Arkanis Sector.”

 “Near Tatooine?” he asked. “Wait… you said you thought they were dead. Are you sure this isn’t a trap?”

 “No, I’m not sure.” She replied. “But he knows about you and the only other person that did was Bail.” She didn’t want to tell him who it was. She also didn’t want to tell him that Bail had lied to her about yet another thing. Whether he had to be careful about his rebellion or not, knowing Obi wan was still alive would have saved her from so much pain; so much heartache that she’d endured in the past few years. She was excited about seeing him and relieved he was alive, but also angry. Angry that he too had cut her off. That he’d hidden away somewhere rather than helped fight for good and light. She was starting to think she didn’t really know anybody anymore. Her master and best friend, had turned to the dark side and his master and her other trusted mentor, had chosen to hide rather than help.

 “He knows about me being from the past? How?” he said surprised.

 “I don’t know.” She sighed heavily. “My best guess is Senator Organa told him.”

 “Do you think he can help us find my future self?”

 “Possibly.”

 “Then let’s go! Even if it is a trap, it will get us closer to our goal.” She nodded. They did a quick perusal of the shipyard to make sure they weren’t leaving anything behind and then started their ship.

 —

 “I sense someone familiar.” He said as they dropped out of hyperspace. Ahsoka looked over at his profile. She felt his excitement and anxiety. Her eyes were heavy from the weight of trying not to cry. She wasn’t sure she was ready for this meeting. She should have been happy, but the resentment had built up behind her careful, calm exterior. He glanced at her, brows knitted in concern. “I don’t think it’s a trap. So, what’s wrong?”

 “It’s nothing.” She said as the ship docked with their own. “Stay here.” She ordered. “Just in case it is one.” She added when she saw his disappointment. Truth be told, she didn’t want them to have a happy reunion before she gave him a piece of her mind.

 She headed down the airlock that now connected the two ships. She took a deep breath and hit the button, then with her hands near her lightsabers, she stepped through.

 She ran into him down the second hallway and thought she’d have a heart attack. Seeing Obi wan standing there, in tattered robes, worn and faded from the heat. It was like seeing a ghost. His once sandy hair and beard were speckled with white. He had deep lines across his face, both from pain and age. It seemed as though he’d aged a millennia in the few years since she’d last seen him. And his ragged appearance had stopped the words she’d been wanting to say in her throat.

 “Master Kenobi?” she stammered. “You  _are_  alive?” He looked at her sadly, his once soft blue eyes also seemed pained. Before she could stop herself, she threw her arms around him.

 “Ahsoka.” Was all he said, but he returned her hug. He was silent for a long time, she felt a change in him and looked up. There was a tear running down his cheek. “Is he with you?” She felt his anticipation and  _need_  in the force. She swallowed any residual anger she had at him. He seemed so broken. Which only led her to one conclusion; he’d known what Anakin had become too and likely had spent every moment since flogging himself as though he were responsible. She nodded. “How much does he know about…” he trailed off, his voice cracking. She felt a deep sympathy for him as she understood what this might mean to him.

 “He knows the truth.” She said. “I probably shouldn’t have told him so much, but I didn’t know what else to do when he came back with me.” She whispered nervously, expecting Obi wan to be disappointed in her. But he just absentmindedly patted her shoulder, looking past her. She should have been annoyed that he didn’t seem to care about her at the moment, but then she remembered what she’d felt the moment she’d laid eyes on him back on Naboo. The strong need to see him, to hold him, to  _run_  to him. Obi wan had been as devoted to Anakin as she was, even if he’d always shown it differently. “Follow me.” She said and turned to lead the way back to their ship.

 She heard Obi wan gasp from behind her as he laid eyes on the past version of his apprentice. She stepped to the side and watched them stare at each other for a while.

 “Master?” Anakin had said, standing up the moment he saw him. He glanced at Ahsoka like he forgot for a moment that this wasn’t his time and her standing there helped remind him.

Obi wan was crying now. She’d never seen him showing emotions before; she shifted uncomfortably. It seemed to surprise Anakin too. Especially when Obi wan shuffled forward and pulled him into his embrace. She saw his eyes widen over his master’s shoulders and then close in a moment of peace. She blinked a few times to stop herself from crying and looked away.

Neither one of them were trying to hide their emotions in the force and she read so much from their exchange. She’d been right about Obi wan feeling responsible. She understood now that he saw this chance to meet his past self as a way of atoning for whatever perceived wrong he’d committed against Anakin. But she also felt something more, something darker. They must have shared something right before Anakin’s fall that she knew nothing about. And this Anakin, didn’t seem to know what it was either.

 When they parted, Ahsoka looked between them. Both had seemed to forget she was there. She wasn’t sure if she should speak or just let them be. But then Obi wan turned to her and smiled. He didn’t seem so tired now. She felt the message he was trying to say to her. It was a thank you for giving him a chance to see him again. Even if it made no sense whatsoever how he’d come forward into this time. Anakin also glanced at her, but his face expressed confusion.

 Obi wan turned back to face Anakin and looked him up and down. “No matter what I say or don’t say,” he said to him. “And no matter what is right or wrong in the eyes of the Jedi. I love you. I’ve always loved you. And all I’ve ever done was try to do what I thought was best for you.” Ahsoka watched Anakin’s eyes widen in surprise. She could tell he didn’t know what to say in response. “And I’m sorry, that you never thought I did.”

 “Master…” Anakin trembled like a little child. “I know you care.” Obi wan looked like he was about to correct him, but decided it must mean the same thing to him and stayed silent. “Do you know where to find Vader?” Anakin asked, as though oblivious to that moment of hesitation in his master.

 At this Obi wan looked questioningly at Ahsoka. “He knows.” She whispered.

Obi wan looked back at Anakin. “Why are you looking for him?” he sounded tired and pained again.

 “Well…” Anakin exchanged a look with Ahsoka. “We thought the only way I could go back to my time was to face what I’d become.”

 “Yes, I know where to find him.” Obi wan said. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea. He has become a terrible threat to the galaxy. He is well protected and very dangerous.”

 Anakin looked at him sadly. “If I can become it, I can unbecome it.” He said quietly.

 “But if something happens to this version of you…” Obi wan started.

 “We know.” Ahsoka jumped in at last. “I don’t like it either, but we’ve both meditated on it for countless hours and we both are certain it’s the only way to send him home.”

 Obi wan stroked his beard. “Vader is on Mustafar.” He sighed at last.

 “The mining world?” Anakin asked.

 “And a place steeped in the dark side,” Ahsoka commented as she thought about the horrible things she felt there the last time they were there.

 “But getting to him will be difficult. There is a blockade around the planet that consists of Tarkin’s fleet. Several star destroyers, swarms of tie fighters and other battle ships.”

 “Lucky we have the best blockade breaker with us.” Ahsoka said, patting Anakin on the arm.

 “Indeed.” Obi wan said. “But, this isn’t your ordinary blockade. It’s put in place by the most ruthless Imperial admiral and unfortunately…” he looked at Anakin.

 “Me.” Anakin finished. Obi wan just nodded. “Well then it stands to reason that I’ll best know how to break it.”

 “Perhaps I can call Bail…? At least then you’d have a chance to slip through, assuming Vader is not on one of the star destroyers at the time.” Ahsoka and Anakin just shrugged. “If you’re sure about this, then I’ll put in the call. But Anakin,” Obi wan said putting a hand on his shoulder. “I fought you when you just barely become a Sith, and your power was immense. Likely it’s grown tenfold since then. Be careful, please.”

 “You’re not coming?”

 “I’m afraid not. I have something else I have to attend to.” Obi wan said sadly. Ahsoka heard what he didn’t say.  _In case we fail…_

 Master Kenobi turned to go after one final sad look at Anakin and one last nod at her. She watched him disappear through the airlock wondering what kept him from the fight. Clearly it was something important enough to protect even at the potential cost of losing Anakin again.


	7. Chapter 7

“You can’t know yet what I’ve been through.” Vader taunted. “If you live to see all of my past, you will understand.” Ahsoka reached to Anakin from where she’d fallen. She’d known going into this fight that it would be a nightmare. But she’d still not been prepared to face such hatred. Vader’s horror at seeing his past self, had only made him more intense. She had no idea what had turned him still, but whatever it was, he’d committed to it completely. She squeezed Anakin’s hand, feeling as though yet again, she’d failed him. Everything they both knew was about to end. There’s no way he was strong enough to beat this version of himself. He looked at her as though he wanted her to wish him luck. She did.

 It took Anakin incredible effort to stand again, “I know what’s waiting for me,” he said as some blood dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. “But I also know what I have, right now.” He glanced at Ahsoka. “And what I will have. And that’s worth fighting you for.” His words made her stagger to her feet and make her way to him. The pain she felt was nearly unbearable, but if she was going to die, she was going to do so standing by his side. The way it should have been before.

 “I killed you once. I will kill you again!” Vader lashed out at him, but Anakin put up one hand and the lightsaber went right through it and sent him flying backwards.

 “Your name is Anakin Skywalker. You are a Jedi Knight. And this future will not happen.” He spoke softly but with power in his voice. Ahsoka watched him in amazement as he walked fearlessly up to the reality of who he’d become.

 “That name means nothing to me now!” Vader rasped.

 “It is the name of your true self. You’ve only just forgotten.” He knelt where Vader had fallen and pressed his hand onto his chest. The suit faded away as if disintegrating and then the burned and broken body disappeared too.

 —

 The buzz at the door startled her awake. She sat up quickly, disoriented. She looked around confused. It was her room inside the Jedi temple.  _That’s impossible_ … the temple was destroyed; how could she be back there? The door buzzed again. She staggered towards it, feeling odd.

 A temple guardian stood on the other side. “Master Yoda has requested your presence in the council chambers.  _Immediately_.”

 "Of course,“ she replied still a little dazed. The last thing she remembered was her and Anakin fighting Vader. Had she been sent back in time again to do what she hadn’t managed the first time? Or had it all been a bad dream?

 She looked up to realize that the guardian was still staring at her from behind the faceless mask. And then it dawned on her, this was the one she’d spoken to in the ruins. 

 "Congratulations,” it said. “You completed your trial. Stay on your path, study and train hard, and you will become a Jedi knight.”

 "But how? I failed to change anything! I couldn’t save his mother. I couldn’t stop the war. I didn’t do anything!“ She cried.

 Its head tipped slightly. "Is that what you believe?" 

 "Yes. Maybe… I don’t know…” she trailed off. She did until it said that.

 It stepped inside her room allowing the door to shut behind it. “There are many possible futures. One small deviation can create a drastically different outcome. When it comes to changing the future, it’s not about the big events. Those are trials we must endure no matter what. They are predestined. And the folly of a force user  _and_  a time traveler is to believe they have the power to dictate a change in those.”

 "So, I wasn’t meant to change those things?“

 "No." 

 She let out a sigh, realizing she’d been holding onto her failure as if that’s all she was capable of doing. 

 "The moment you arrived in the past, you started changing it. Your presence alone was all that was required. Living through those events as yourself, was all that was necessary. Because in every moment, the future is being written. Do you understand now, child?” It asked.

 "I think so.“

 “Your master needed you then. You taught him the things he will soon teach you. In so doing, you changed his attitude about the terrible things that he witnessed. And because you led him to victory in fighting the demon he becomes, that future cannot exist. You gave him something to fight it for. Your code name…  _Fulcrum_ … do you know what it means?” She shook her head. “It means someone that plays an essential role in a situation.”

 "I am  _the_  Fulcrum.“ She said aloud surprised. 

 "Now go,” it said. “Your future awaits.”

 —

 As she disembarked the vessel on Christophsis, she felt her throat tighten in anxiety. Master Yoda had told her it was time for her to become an apprentice, and then he’d handed her padawan beads to mark the beginning of the long journey ahead. She was about to meet Anakin for the first time in this lifetime. Would he recognize her? Would he want her? What would he be like now? If she’d truly changed so much, she didn’t really know what was about to happen.

 "A youngling?“ She heard Master Kenobi say with surprise. "That must be my new padawan learner.”

 "I don’t think so,“ came Anakin’s all too familiar voice. "You’ve already had a padawan. This one’s mine!” She glanced up to see him smiling at her. Her heart was racing. 

 "Come now, she was assigned to me.“ Obi wan said teasingly.

 "I’m at your service, Master Kenobi, but I’m afraid I’ve been assigned to him.” She said pointing at Anakin. He winked at her as Obi wan started stroking his sandy beard.

 "That can’t be right.“ 

 "Master Yoda said, 'I’m assigned to Anakin Skywalker, and he is to supervise my Jedi training.’”

 "We’ll have to sort this out later then.“ Obi wan said at last. He put his hand on her shoulder looking deeply into her eyes. She could see he was grateful. She nodded and then made her way to where Anakin was standing. 

 "It’s nice to meet you.” He leaned down to whisper to her, “Fulcrum.” Then he patted her on the arm with his right hand. 

 She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her lips. For the first time in years, she had something wonderful to look forward to. She’d forgotten what that felt like.

 He pulled out his lightsaber and ignited it. “Show me yours.” He said. She did the same and jumped in surprise that it was no longer green, but rather white like the ones she’d had in the future. Obi wan glanced at them curiously. “I told you she was the one.” Anakin said excitedly to his old master.

 “So it would seem.” Obi wan said smiling. Ahsoka looked at him with wide eyes, surprised that Anakin had told him about their adventure in the future. But then again… things had changed, and perhaps it was time to shed the memories she had and replace them with new ones.


End file.
